The Christians I Almost Wrote Off

What Scripture actually teaches about judgment, and how we see one another while God is still at work.

Few instructions from Jesus seem more confusing than this one: “Do not judge.”

I see in my past, things that make me cringe. Things that I did. Worse, things that I did when I called myself a Christian. Certainly, I’m not perfect even today after being a professing Christian for nearly 50 years. But those early years – those make me groan.

My heart aches for the individuals who saw me act the way I did while professing Christ. What confusion and distrust of Christians that must have sparked in some observers’ hearts. I could send myself down a spiral of self-loathing* at the depth of my own double-mindedness as a young Christian.

But isn’t that just how it is for all of us learning to walk the Jesus life when we don’t have earthly Christian mentors, or if we were dealt childhood trauma, or let’s face it – just born with the sin nature that we all are born with?

And maybe there are some times that I fail the skeptic’s sniff test today, as well. I hope not. But the reality is that we are vulnerable to act with human impulse at any time…and especially when under attack by the enemy and not girded up with our spiritual armor.

*As a side note: Self-loathing is not from God. He does not lead us toward shame that destroys but toward repentance that restores. If you find yourself pulled into self-loathing, resist it in prayer and settle yourself back into His grace.

Looking back over my spiritual walk, what stands out most is this:

Although I stand aghast at my behavior as an early Christian, it is quite evident that God was still there. He didn’t turn 180 degrees and scurry from the scene when I behaved decidedly un-Christlike. He didn’t abandon me in my darkest hours that were, surprise, created by my sinful self-doings. (I was a mess, y’all.)

And, yet he continued to bear my sorrows. He still answered my deepest questions. He gave me warnings to protect me. He gave glimpses of Himself to this confused, driven to humanistic devices, self. He even answered prayers.

We have such a good, loving, kind, immeasurably patient and compassionate Father.

Knowing this about Him, how should we look on others around us? Do we see the corruption of their souls and frown and say, well, they certainly aren’t Christian? Do we see a young couple sitting next to us at church wearing clothes better suited to the nightclub scene and conclude they aren’t really “saved”?

What does Scripture actually say about judging?

At first glance, it feels confusing. Jesus tells us, “Do not judge,” and we breathe a sigh of relief, thinking perhaps we are meant to simply accept everyone and everything without worrying about it. Yet elsewhere we are told to judge correctly, and Paul even instructs believers to address serious sin within the church.

So which is it?

Over time, I’ve come to understand that Scripture is not contradicting itself. It is distinguishing between two very different things. Here’s my understanding. Tell me if you agree.

One kind of judgment belongs only to God: deciding the condition of a person’s soul, their ultimate standing before Him, or whether they belong to His kingdom.

The other kind of judgment is discernment. Recognizing sin. Protecting the vulnerable. Calling one another back toward Christ when someone who claims His name begins to walk away from His ways.

Are we called to walk in either of these two types of judgment?

My own understanding has ebbed and flowed from one side to the other with the seasons, as I search out God’s meaning in the passages and the “how” we live out Christlikeness in our daily interactions with others.

Some teachings I have enjoyed have focused on never judging anyone. Some have focused on keeping watch on everyone. And still others have taught me to only judge those who call themselves Christians.

But the longer I walk this earth with Jesus, the more clearly the picture is forming in my mind of what the full complement of scriptures is saying together on this subject.

Here’s where I tend to stand today.

Jesus tells us he did not come to the earth during his earthly ministry to judge the people, but to save them. He dined with sinners. He showed the lowly that his compassion is for them. He didn’t look down his nose at them. He loved them. Even when they heard his words, but chose not to do what he taught.

Can I just say, “Thank you, Jesus!”? Where would I be if he had written me off for sinning while claiming to be a Christian? I shudder to think. Instead of rebuke, finger wags and you-shoulds, Jesus met me with enduring patience, warm love and compassion. I know why Mary Magdalene of Jesus’ time fell to her knees before him, adoring him. Because I am a modern day Mary Magdalene.

So, do we have the right to judge others? According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, to judge is to “form an opinion through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises.”

Our formed opinions of people are our judgment of a soul. Do we look at a man caught in adultery and decide he’s bad, unredeemable and headed for eternal death?

Our formed opinions of sin are our judgment of a behavior. Do we focus on the sin as bad, but changeable? Forgivable?

Isaiah 53:5 says: “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

Transgressions, iniquities, sins…all healed by the crushing endured by Jesus. In this context, I want to highlight the word “healed”. We are wounded by our own sin. And we sin because we are wounded and weak and fall into the traps of the enemy.

Jesus died for us out of compassion. He knows our hearts and it grieves him to see us suffering. He wants to heal us from what has made us sick. He doesn’t condemn us, he cures us.

If we are to walk more like Christ in His example, then we are called to love others, pray for them, intercede for them and guide them toward Him. Can we recognize the sin taking place in their lives? Yes. But first we must recognize our own propensity toward sin, lest we put a foot in the stirrups of our high horse. Jesus wasn’t recorded as going around pointing out others’ sins or talking about them behind their backs, and neither should we. (Don’t forget Jesus was without sin and had every right to ride a high horse - but chose not to.)

What is important to note is that there is a difference between recognizing sin and judging a person’s position (or lack thereof) in the Lamb’s book of eternal life.

We cannot know if someone truly belongs to God. Only God can know that.

What about the passages that tell us to judge those within the church? Here, Scripture invites us into discernment, not superiority. Love and clarity must walk together.

When someone who claims Christ begins walking in a way that harms others or contradicts His teachings, ignoring it is not compassion. Discernment protects both the individual and the community. Yet even here, the goal is never condemnation. It is restoration.

Jesus outlines a path for this in Matthew 18. We begin privately, approaching the person with humility and care. If the issue remains unresolved, others may join in loving accountability. Only after repeated refusal to listen does separation become necessary. Even then, the purpose is not punishment but protection and the hope of eventual return.

Even here, addressing the behavior is one thing; the soul behind it remains God’s alone to weigh.

When I encounter someone who claims Christ, yet struggles visibly, I remember the younger version of myself. The one who was still learning, still healing, still wrestling toward obedience. And that memory reshapes my posture. Discernment remains necessary, but compassion must lead the way.

The bottom line is, we are all on a journey from the moment we accept Christ as our savior. Some of us take winding, twisting paths that are wrought with obstacles like generational sin coming down our family line, or childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and so on.

Others who have had fewer obstacles in their paths may progress on a straighter course toward righteous behavior. They may begin reflecting the beauty of Christ’s life earlier than others.

We are all learning more every day as Christ reveals himself to us piece by piece and teaches us to trust Him moment by moment.

So be gentle, dear heart, with the precious Christian sitting next to you that doesn’t seem to have all their “Christianness” put together. They, like you, are on the path.

And like you, they may stumble over the edges of the path into the weeds from time to time as they learn to walk. They are just as darling to God as the well-weathered souls of decades-old adorers of Christ.

If there was one thing I wish I could effectively convince every person I encounter, it is the entirety of the truth of the depth and riches of God’s love for them.

No sin is too great, no ego too brazen, you’ve never gone too far to be accepted back into the fold of His arms. He loves you.

If you’re not smart enough, not pretty or handsome enough, not sporty enough, not wealthy enough, not refined enough for the culture around you, you’re more than enough to be lifted up into the arms of the One who created you, and to be cherished as the son or daughter of the King. You belong to Him. Rest in that identity and walk forward in the place He has prepared for you.

And as you walk, remember those who go before you and those who come after you are on different parts of the journey. Their scenery may be different from what you’ve seen. But God will complete the good work He has begun. Handle each other’s hearts with care and compassion. If the Lord brings something to your eyes and asks you to step in, provide gentle correction. Spur one another on in the faith. We all need to be encouraged to continue the race. Encourage them.

Love to you all.

Scriptural Framework

James 4:12 - There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Matthew 7:1 - Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

1 Corinthians 5:12–13 - What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”

John 7:24 - Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.

John 8:15 - You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.

John 12:47 - If anyone hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge that person. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.

Psalm 96:13 - Let all creation rejoice before the Lord, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his faithfulness.

Ezekiel 22:2 - Son of man, will you judge her? Will you judge this city of bloodshed? Then confront her with all her detestable practices.

Isaiah 3:13 - The Lord takes his place in court; he rises to judge the people.

John 5:27 - And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man.

Scripture reminds me that the final word on any soul is God’s, never mine. These verses hold the two halves together — the judgment that belongs to Him alone, and the discernment He asks us to carry gently, with love leading the way.

Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.